


Freak

by KittenSneeze



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Asexual Sherlock, Comforting John, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Reference to Rape, Sherlock's emotions, Trauma, breakdown - Freeform, john being there for sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 07:13:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14806757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittenSneeze/pseuds/KittenSneeze
Summary: Sherlock finally opens up to John about why he seems so disinterested in sex.





	Freak

**Author's Note:**

> This is a pretty heavy short drabble, so if you're sensitive to this sort of thing, I recommend not reading it.

Sherlock shook his head from side to side, biting back tears that were threatening to spill from his glossy eyes. “Tell me, Sherlock!” John shouted, his hands firmly gripped on the others broad shoulders, using his advantage of strength to hold the taller one in place. The detective’s icy eyes searched the ground, darting from place to place, avoiding eye contact with the other at all costs.   
  
His bottom lip was held between his front row of teeth and he continued refusing to speak, a tremble starting across his body. The ex-soldier stared at his best friend, eyes examining every last detail of his face, trying so hard to deduct information just like the other could. He was a doctor, there were certain signs of stress disorders he could detect from someone’s body language and actions, so when he picked up on them with his flat mate, he immediately went into nursing mode.  
  
After a moment of tantalizing silence between the two, John let out a soft exhale through his nose, parting his lips as he thought about exactly how he should question the other. “Sherlock... I understand you’re a... virgin... Mycroft seems to tease you about that fairly often... but you’re not that way because you haven’t been able to score a date or that nobody likes you in that way...” Watson trailed off, trying to steady himself before carrying on with his bold claim, “Someone tried to force you to do something you weren’t comfortable with doing... didn’t they?”   
  
Sherlock’s face fell at the others words, and by the look of how his expression changed, John had been correct. The barrier the detective put up between the two was shattered, revealing a very scared, damaged man underneath his bitter exterior.  
  
“I didn’t...,” Sherlock began, breath uneven as he tried unsuccessfully to not cry, “She didn’t give me a choice.”  
  
The rest gushed out as a racked sob, and the detective hung his head to hide behind a veil of dark curls, shoulders shaking with every sharp intake of breath. Whatever John had previously thought about Sherlock - his pretentious attitude, his annoying tendencies, his sociopathic nature - it was thrown out the door as he saw that, the man who tried so hard to act emotionless all the time was a flood of every emotion in the book because nobody bothered to try and understand him.  
  
John firmly pulled the other into his arms, subtly shifting onto his tip-toes to cradle the other in any way he could as he sobbed, fingers running comfortingly through the others mop of hair. Minutes passed as John just held the other, waiting for the other to calm down enough so he could speak. After a bit more time passed, his cries became softer and more strained, as if they physically hurt him, and John realized it was now an appropriate time to give his apology.   
  
“I’m so... so sorry, Sherlock,” the smaller man whispered, “I wish I had known, that I’d been less shitty so I could’ve noticed.” The detective’s cries were fading into whimpers as he looked up, eyes bloodshot and red from his swollen tear ducts.   
  
“I should’ve liked it... there’s something wrong with me... I stopped her but it was too late, I couldn’t-,” Sherlock’s breath became ragged as more tears threatened to spill, and he swallowed hard, trying to find his dignity again. “I wish I wasn’t like this.” The others words hit John like a slap in the face, and his eyebrows furrowed into a frown as he steadied himself.  
  
“Sherlock, there is nothing wrong with you. Even if you didn’t get that far with her, it was enough to leave you shaken and scared, but that doesn’t mean you’re a freak. Not having sex doesn’t make you inferior. There could be countless reasons as to why you retreated so violently from that woman. Perhaps you’re unsure of your sexuality, or weren’t attracted to her, or just don’t like act at all, but that doesn’t mean any of those things are bad at all!” John ranted, eyes fixed on the other as he continued, “But even if you had some sort of disorder that repulsed you from sex, that doesn’t make you wrong or weird or that something’s wrong with you. You’re still you. You could’ve just had really bad experiences in that area that turned you away from it- God knows I have. It’s better to save yourself for someone you truly love than waste it away on some slutty broad just to be able to say you’ve lost your V-card. People would give anything to have that virginity back, because they regret it, and it haunts them. You chose to be one of the smart people who is saving it to themselves, and that’s amazing and worthy of a salute in itself- but we knew you were kind of smart already.”  
  
John finished with a smile, running a thumb across the others cheek to wipe at any tears still falling. Sherlock’s mouth twitched upwards in a small smile, warming John’s heart to see his words had gotten through to the other. The shorter man slowly released his firm hug on the other, still resting his hand on his arm in order to give his reassurance.   
  
The detective looked a bit at a loss of words, but he was able to clear his throat a bit and manage to tiredly whisper a earnest, “Thank you...” John’s smile widened as he felt the need to cry as well, but he steeled himself for the one the loved.   
  
“Anything for you, Sherlock.”

**Author's Note:**

> Social media:  
> Tumblr- kittensneezi.tumblr.com  
> Youtube- youtube.com/c/kittensneeze  
> Twitter- twitter.com/kittensneezeVA  
> Instagram- instagram.com/kittensneeze/


End file.
